Overview Of Sexual Addiction

Sexual addictions are caused by misuse of a person's natural sex drive. The addiction will usually be started in puberty but it can also be developed later in life. Once started it leads to a compulsion the sexually addicted person tries to avoid, but can't. In the later stages it can affect every part of the person's life. Self-respect, intimate relationships, associations with family and friends, finances and career can take second place to his addiction. If the sexually addicted person is honest with himself, he'll realize that his sex life is underscored by confusion, conflict, and regret. The joy of wonderful loving sex now competes with his sexual addiction.

Getting the problem stopped is the most important decision the sexually addicted person can make in his or her life.

The First Obstacle To Overcoming Sexual Addiction is a good sex program

The fear of failure is normal, especially if you've failed before at stopping.

Just about anyone who acts sexually addictive has made some attempt to stop. It might have been only for a day, but they tried - and they failed. If you've tried to overcome it before and weren't able to, the biggest obstacle to your success is to believe you cannot succeed.

Let's imagine you wanted to teach a kid how to ride a bike. You've taught lots of kids and you're sure this kid can make it. He doesn't believe he can. He tried to learn before but was not taught correctly. Now he's sick and tired of failing. You know that the only thing holding him back is his belief that he can't do it.

Good counseling will provide you the knowledge. Good counseling will also help motivate you to make the free will choice to stop. Providing the effort is up to you. Just like the kid who can learn to ride the bike if he makes the effort, you can overcome sexual addiction, once your efforts are properly guided . Don't let past failures defeat you. Learn from them. Don't give in to hopelessness. Use it to build motivation.

The first obstacle to overcoming sex addiction is not in your genes, your childhood or your environment. The first obstacle is the decision not to try. If you're willing to make the effort, good counseling can guide you to success. The decision to make the effort and find the right guidance doesn't apply only to addiction. It applies to accomplishing anything.

Sexual Addiction and Self-deception

Self deception is the addict's strongest defense against admitting he's addicted.

Sexual addiction is more deceptive than most other addictions because sexual addiction provides the illusion of pleasure. The pleasure is escapist oriented. When the escape ends, the thrill of the addiction is over and the demands of real life return with a vengeance. Now the addict is confronted with the decision to face reality and gain the real pleasures of life or flee back into shallow fantasy. All too often the person decides that sexual addiction is not escape and not an addiction. Some of the rationalizations he uses are:

• "I'm not addicted. I do it to relieve stress."
• "It's not an addiction. It's a way of having fun."
• "All my friends do it."
• "You're uptight about sex. I'm not."
• "I have more sex drive than most people."
• "It gives me pleasure. It can't be an addiction if I like it."
• "I know guys who are sex addicts. I'd never do what they do."
• "I'm normal. You're abnormal."
• "Sexual addiction is a myth put out by small-minded bigots and hypocrites."

Someone close to me has a sexual addiction

You know that your husband or boyfriend has a problem with sex. But does he know? If he doesn't want to accept that he's sexually addicted, what can you do? Even if he's accepted that he has a problem, is he willing to stop? How can you help him stop?

Let's answer these questions one by one. If you realize that your partner is addicted either through addictive masturbation, compulsive use of porn, a fetish, phone sex or infidelity, but he doesn't want to accept it, here's what to do:

Start by getting him to take our test.  Click Here for Test

Here are a few more pointers about what the partner can do to help her husband or boyfriend get control over sexual addiction:

• Don't take on his burden. The job of overcoming the addiction is his, not yours.
• Be realistic. Some sexual addictions can be overcome relatively quickly. Others take time.
• Give him credit for his successes.
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• Don't take the blame for his sex addiction. Many times the partner's first reaction when discovering a sexual addiction is, "What's wrong with me? Why doesn't he want to be with me? Why does he want them instead of me?" You did not cause his sexually addictive behavior. He caused it. Self help is the way to overcome it. Sex help is what we provide.

There is HOPE as long as you are willing to do what it takes.
We are here to help you live a better life.

Sincerely,
CyberAddiction.org Team